Well I have heard this word from time memorabilia and once every while yet never really fully understood the meaning rather never really tried to understand the meaning. The economic forums defining, measuring, reporting still it was just another word in my head alongside a million words, neither important nor significant. It took a long time longer than it should have, longer than I ever thought and when I did understand it was not just a word anymore.

I have heard and seen people giving up hope, turning to themselves and fight from within and always within and perish like a dot in the desert, even when I personally experienced it I never realized but it was just a plausible moment long forgotten and never recollected.

Morgan Freeman said and I quote “everything in boxing is backwards” I presume everything is just the same with a head strong person. The point is the person is so busy looking ahead that he misses out the symptoms and when realized, “Alas! It’s too late”. And so it happened.

It altered my perception on the very simple nature of living and surviving. I even devised a quote on my own, to combat the situation. Well not exactly to combat but an excuse buried deep within as a pseudo key to survival, mildly put. And as always I cited the quote to all those who would listen as a borrowed word and every time when I said it, did I realize? Oh Yes! I did.

Now there will be a time when everyman would be for himself battling his own battles and when all his weapons are futile would require to vanquish himself and that’s the rule. But in what order and when, is the deciding factor and that makes all the difference. And so I did vanquished myself and before that in the ambiguity I vanquished my pride, esteem, self-righteousness, free will, desire and even aspirations. When all is lost there is no place for a man and THAT I realized.

The horrible chain of events led to total obscurity that even after all the self-taught morals and ethics were given up the ugly face still remains. I gave up my desire for fresh clothing, high dining, luxury even locked the taste buds craving without the hint of subjugation. I did not feel bad rather I felt a little comfortable with a crude satisfaction that this makes me a better person with a better life, in reality I dare not think of the reality.

Unfortunately that just wasn’t enough the worse moments hopped in where I had to give up my habits to survive that inevitable and that was HORRID. Yet I did, I did what I had to and I did what I could do and in doing so, I searched for an excuse to hold my honor and there was none. That’s when I realized the callous nature of that word and the true meaning of the word. It just doesn’t happen and pass by like others it stays forever altering the preemptive nature and the perception.
Life goes on ….

And the quote I devised is “ Poverty isn’t having the money to buy an ice cream, it is the reasoning that overrides the choice of buying it”, seems legit ?


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